2017. február 19., vasárnap

Laryngitis lessons

I believe that there's something to learn from every life situation.... if we learn how to listen.

And I also believe that everything happens for a reason.

3 days ago I woke up, being unable to speak. I only could make some sound that was most likely like to the last sounds of a dying creature or very silent whisper that was/is awfully painful. It only made it worse that I had to work like this, and my work consist of about 80% of talking with the customers (I am a cashier). Now I am left with even less voice (if possible at all).

Sometimes I feel like I really want to say something out loud, I mean to try it. But the person I try to talk to can't hear or can't understand me. The only thing I get out from my tries is a lot of pain in my throat. So I start to think if what I want to say is worth al the efforts and pain? Definitely not.  Anyways, my doctor told me to go on a voice diet.

But why is all that happening to me? Maybe, because lately I lost my self in the big adulting game, trying to be good at it and in the end I did not only loose my voice in poetic ways but literally, too. Or is it because I was kinda living in my head lately, and talked (sorry for this) a shitload of bullshit? I didn't hear what the universe was trying to tell me and that was the only way it could make me shut up to finally hear what is had to tell me

During this few days I learned few things:

  • Words have huge power.
  • Most of our words are unnececcary. (and nobody cares anyways)
  • If you need to smack your fingers almost in the face of someone to gain their attention,they aren't worth it. Even if he/she is going to pay attention it won't be their full attention.
  • If you stay quiet you can pay more attention to the world inside and outside of yourself and to others, too.
  • I always spoke to much and didn't pay attention to my own words. 
  • Without my voice life is more complicated but more simple.
  • Muteness makes one more creative and more thoughtful.
  • Most people only talk about themselves and miss the chance to be a good listener, good friend, good sister meanwhile.... when you need to write down what you want to say, you realise that it wasn't that important and the world won't stop if nobody knows about it.
  • I know how it feels when someone is mistreated for things they can't help.
  • Nothing is such a big problem as it seems.
  • Letting my voice be heard (literally or metaphorically) isn't a major thing but "being there" mentally and giving your self. Sometimes we seek attention so bad that we oppress everything else with our voice, turn into something we aren't when maybe it is us who needs to pay attention to us. 
I realised how much I overused my voice and underused my ears and eyes. If my voice ever comes back from vacation I want to remember these things, so I wrote them down and share with you. I wish I would learn these things by spiritual growth and not by an illness.

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